Autumn

Since coming back to Japan, I have been contacting some people of uni about my visa application, training programmes which I will start in January and my work schedule.

On the 21st when I finally received a formal offer letter for a teaching position at the university, I had mixed feelings of happiness, excitement and great tension; I am bracing myself for these wonderful opportunities!

I am also grateful to my old professor who has allowed me to attend a teacher training course at a university in Tokyo from October to December, although my mother is complaining to me that I should take a break during this stay in Japan.

Looking back to my past experience, every time I move on to the next step in my life, someone plucks me and allocates me to somewhere I did not expect. It might sound as though I take a passive attitude, but it is always true for me that an accidental encounter can be a signpost that leads me to a new adventure. Some parts of my parents’ education might have been successful because I learnt the importance of doing my best and working hard for anything while watching the hardships they faced in their lives.

As my mum said, I haven’t had a proper break in Japan and I’ve been continuing to work every day despite having some family gatherings.

In the deepest recesses of my mind, I want to go somewhere to escape from reality for a few days.

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37th Birthday

I turned 37 yesterday, and I was able to spend this week with my father, aunt and colleagues and have a good chat with them over lunches and dinners, which was very relaxing. I will meet up with my best friend next week; her birthday is the same day as mine, so it will be lovely to celebrate our birthdays together.

Since I turned 30, I have looked up to women in their 40s, and my admiration is getting stronger. In my eyes, women over 40 who have met are so mature and golden, as they know about themselves very well and have the advantage of their experience to develop flexible attitudes toward other people and life. I am lucky to have such role models around me, and they teach me how to discard things not meant for you and how to maximise enjoying everyday life. My resolutions for the next three years are to study well, learn well, take care of myself and create the basis of something to prepare for turning 40.

My aunt said to me over dinner today that something about my view of life has changed over the past two years, and she asked me what had prompted it. My answers were ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I have never thought about that!’ I hardly go over past experiences or recall my feelings about them once they have passed, though I might remember something if I read my old diaries over and over; that’s why blogging is always helpful as a record. Although I surely fit a lid over tough personal experiences without saying anything to anyone, the luckiest thing is that I get over shocks very quickly and optimistically.

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Tokyo

I got back to Tokyo. It took a few hours to sort out and handle postal mails at my flat. I have some appointments to meet up with my friends this month, which tell me that I still have some social life in Japan and haven’t entirely abandoned all of them yet.

My goals during this stay are to do some preparation for my research and teaching job, to spend some time with my parents and to deal with some property things.

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